I am so excited to share this post with all of you today. Yesterday I had the pleasure of connecting with a wonderful baseball wife who felt led to share her deepest thoughts and emotions with our baseball family. Courtney very bravely posted the piece below on a private group we have for baseball wives and girlfriends and the response she received was heartwarming. So many women, including myself, were incredibly moved by what she had to say.
Even though we are all at different points in our journey, the baseball community shares many of the same emotional, psychological and lastly, physical struggles. This very special life we lead is one of many blessings, but it also comes with many hardships that most will never see or understand. Many wives commented that they were in tears after reading Courtney’s post and I can say that I had a hard time reading it myself. I was overwhelmed with emotions that run deep despite my pregnancy hormones. I urge you to take a moment to read the beautifully written piece below; It will give many a little insight into our baseball lives. Without further ado…
“There’s no Cinderella’s in baseball. Who you are and what you are will show itself sooner or later.” The past week has been one of the toughest for me emotionally. Of course it doesn’t help that I have the hormones of a typhoon raging within, either. But if I were a betting lady I’d be willing to bet that these emotions would be here regardless of the growth of little one. If there is one thing I have come to respect about my husband, it’s that he has the determination of a mule. When you take something from him that he is passionate about, you better get strapped in and buckle down for the ride. Because he’s about to prove himself in ways you didn’t even know existed. Baseball is his first love. The feel of the ball between his fingers, the smell of the grass on the field, the feel of the dirt on the mound, the rush of a setup and the motion of the pitch. All of this is second nature to him. It’s in his blood. In his soul. He has worked harder than I ever contemplated working in his 26 years on this earth. He has sacrificed more sweat and tears than I can count. In 2010 he was drafted into affiliated ball. A dream come true. A dream that suddenly went from one of pure love to one of pure agony. Most people have no idea what a minor leaguer goes through. Believe me, I know there are people out there that literally give up their lives for another. I respect that completely. But there’s something to be said for a guy who puts his life on pause for a game he loves. He packs his stuff, drives off with his family behind, stays in hotels that you wouldn’t even think about stopping at, sleeps on busses for 10-18 hours while traveling to the next field, grinds day in and day out working his body to maximum potentials and fights to keep a job every day because there are others out there hunting for it. Then turns to the fans, smiles, waves and signs balls or cards with a smile on his face and a pep in his step; hiding the strain and tiredness that the 5th cup of coffee he just poured himself is trying to hide. His bank account gets the $7-850 deposit every two weeks and his bills slowly pile because there is no such thing as a paycheck in the offseason. All for a dream. A dream to get to where every ball player wants to be. Then one day you find yourself sitting on the couch, almost 6 years later, baseball-less. I always wondered what this day would feel like and I must say, it feels a lot like an unexpected breakup with a first love. After all, that’s basically what it is. The “my feelings have changed” emptiness of questions that you have at the moment you are no longer in a relationship take over. And like all of our first breakups, the first days are hard. Emotional. Aggravating. As each day passes, the numbness fades and things get better. That’s what the initial seconds of the “I’ve been released” moment feels like. Gut wrenching, sword in the stomach pain. That was almost 2 weeks ago. What I love about my husband is that he hasn’t crawled into a dark space and felt sorry for himself. He hasn’t even gotten so angry that he made irrationally destructive decisions. Nope. He takes it to the mound. He continues to work hard and train. We may be crazy, but we are Noah. I’m sure most people thought he was insane, literally, when he began constructing the ark. I mean who builds a boat for animals, when you’ve never even seen rain? I’ll tell you who. A man who heard His God speak. A man who listened. A man who prepared his field, no matter the cost. Last season, this same time, we were walking through a miscarriage. Now, we are anxiously waiting the birth of our precious Addelyn. No matter what comes, her tiny life will not be taken for granted because we know what it feels like to lose one. Now, a year later, we walk through a release. A death in some sense. We learned last year that the beauty of it is new life always comes next. We have no idea what tomorrow brings. We really don’t even know what the next minute brings. But the one thing we do know is that baseball is not over. And when he gets the opportunity he has worked so hard for, it will not be taken for granted. All that He requires of us is faith as tiny as a mustard seed. Even if what He has called you to do seems so incredibly out of reach, if you believe He can and will provide what you need to fulfill your calling, that He has given, He will give it. So just as the farmer prepared his field for rain, believing His God would bring it, we too prepare our field for the next step. We must always be ready for the opportunity to fulfill The Divine Calling to come. Because if we aren’t, it will never be as powerful as it was intended to be and we might even miss it. One day we will look back on this and see how all of those grungy nights on a bus or sleeping in a bed that most wouldn’t even sit on, the strain, the stress, the pay that seems like nothing and every second of the struggle, the preparation and the wait will all be worth it. Not because he made the show. No, because he obeyed the calling.
I never got around to writing the post I promised everyone that pertained to flying with a 3-month-old and I honestly can’t even wrap my head around doing so now. I have flown with my little man twice and although every baseball wife I know does it without complaint, I can tell you it is not the most enjoyable experience – speaking for myself when I say so.
When I flew with Jet he was 3 months and 5 months respectively, and everyone told me those would be the easy times. I really didn’t believe them, but now that my boy is approaching 8 months I realize that flying with him is progressively more challenging. He is sooooo active now and refuses to take naps the way he used to. I am sure I am making this whole experience out to be much harder in my head than it likely would be in reality, – just as I did when we first flew 5 months ago – but I loathe burdening people which subsequently results in me feeling overwhelmed by the idea of inconveniencing all my fellow travelers with my little baby. I suppose I will have to get over these feelings if I ever want to fly with my child again.
All this being said, since I have this irrational fear of flying with my son, and I have also started working real estate again, I have not been able to visit David since I came back home in April. This means that it has been 3, yes three, 3 months since I have seen him but even harder, since Jet has seen his daddy. While this year has had its challenges, I am focusing on all of the wonderful things in our lives.
I am so grateful to be home and to have a beautiful place that my family can call home. For the stability that being home has afforded my child (he FINALLY started sleeping through the night at 6.5 months. Hip Hip Hurray!). For the companionship and love that our four-legged children provide us. For the help that I have been receiving from my mother and the family. For everyone’s health. And for the grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Life is beautiful.
I used to write long, drawn out posts in which I consciously illustrated my life on this blog weekly and now brevity is my theme. I promised I would fill you in as to why I have been MIA – and I do mean “missing in action.” Aside from the fact that I am now a mother and my baby is pretty much my life moving forward, I have also had a lot of change taking place.
This year has been an interesting one for my family and while David continues to pursue the very unstable life of a baseball player, I have come to realize that our son needs more stability than the baseball life can give him right now. That being said, David and I made the very hard decision to take a break from traveling together. Although it is extremely difficult and heartbreaking having my husband and his son living in two very distant places, it seemed the best decision for all of us.
Subsequently, I have decided to go back to work. Many of you may already know that I have been a licensed realtor since 2006 and after being a stay at home wife and mommy – to furry babies and now Jethro – for over two years, the time has come for me to go back to work. This decision, albeit not entirely easy, felt like the wisest investment of my time spent at home. I am starting to realize that even though being a mother is the most rewarding job on the planet, I need more than that to feel complete. Since being home I have literally gone crazy decorating, adding flowers to my landscape and going slightly overboard on the number of bird feeders necessary to feed the bird population. Clearly, I could either keep spending money trying to keep myself busy, or I could put my extra energy into something more productive and less expensive, like selling real estate. 🙂
At first I wasn’t so sure how happy I would be going back to work but now I am very excited. I feel like this is the direction the universe wants me to go and so I have decided to go with the flow…
Crying baby! Time to go!
Hi everyone. Believe it or not, this is the first opportunity in weeks that I have had to sit down in front of an actual computer and put enough words together for a blog post. Baseball season is long and every day is groundhog day, so writing these posts takes conscious effort.
Before I get into my love and appreciation for the Yankees, I want to spill a little news I have been keeping quiet for some time. David and I spent the better part of April and May apart while I was filming a TV show that is set to air on August 6th. The show has officially been named Hot Listings Miami and it will air on Style Network. David and I are rather private people, but nonetheless, this year has required our doors to be open to the public more so than ever. This is something I am learning to take in strides and it has only made me emotionally stronger.
Moving onto the title of this post. David and I have been extremely blessed in life and being a part of the Yankees organization is just another example of how God has chosen to bless us. David and I know that tomorrow is not promised to us and we consciously try to live every day grateful for the gifts we have been given. The Yankees have been nothing short of amazing during our transition from AAA to the big leagues. Everyone from the staff to the owners do a superb job of making you feel at home – despite the nerves that come with being a rookie. I have nothing but great things to say about the time we have spent with this organization and I want to truly thank them for making it a point to care.
That being said, David said it once in an interview – “I can only control what I can control. We have to take it one day at a time and if I am meant to be here for 15 years or 30 days, it’s not my choice. If I had it my way I would play baseball my whole life. It’s a matter of taking it one day at a time and hoping that you can do whatever the good Lord has planned for you and spread his word.”
Thank you and God Bless,
This year has been full of blessings for David and me. God has put us right where he wants us and surrounded us with like-minded Christians. That being said, I want to dedicate this post to a man that David has had the honor of playing with this year – the last year this opportunity would be afforded to him -Mariano Rivera.
Below is an article well worth reading and one that resonates fully with how David and I view the life we’ve been dealt by none other than, our Lord. I hope you enjoy!
Mariano Rivera’s Next Career: Evangelist
Well, it has been a long time since I have written a post. This spring has been a whirlwind for David and me, in a multitude of ways. I have been standing at a crossroads the past few months that left me struggling with opening up about our baseball life. A great portion of our daily lives is consumed by this career that David chose to pursue, subsequently making it hard to open up about it when what you are really seeking is discretion and privacy.
Since this blog is about my serendipitous life as a baseball wife, I am breaking my silence for the sake of the fans and our friends and family who read this blog.
2013 has turned out to be a year of growth and change. So much has happened in a short amount of time but all according to God’s will and, of course, in His timing. I always say not to have many expectations in life because life hardly goes as planned and oh boy, have I witnessed that first hand!
Nevertheless, this year has been very exciting and I know we are just starting to chip away at it. There is a lot of exciting news on the way but I’ll be holding out for just a little while longer.